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ASA newsgroup West Coast Putzsail Race and Regatta (WCS#3)

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Whereas

I propose the second annual official A.S.A. newsgroup Putzsail Race.

I propose the race be held in the San Francisco bay, sometime early in the summer of 2006. The exact date, course, and these rules are to be acrimoniously dissected on the newsgroup until we're thoroughly sick of the process. At this point, all rules in place, if any, will be used.

I further propose the following rules and stipulations (some plagiarized from the ISAF website (https://www.sailing.org), others embellished as necessary, many made up).

I further propose that this race/regatta be designated as WCS#3 in honor of the previously unofficial WCS#1 and WCS#2 in Northern Cal. Please see the log of the event. Note, that there have and will continue to be other unofficial West Coast sail events. This should not be construed as to be official.

Entry and qualifications

All boats shall:

  1. be primarily powered by sails (as opposed to turkey poo)
  2. be greater than 16 feet and less than 60 feet in length
  3. be monohull (if multihulls which to participate, they are required to purchase a minimum of one round of beer for all participants after the race)
  4. be owned and/or operated by individuals:
    - having some idea what this is all about
    - having participated on the newsgroup
  5. have a minimum of one person and a maximum of four people on the boat during the race
  6. not receive a handicap, except as indicated here.

All racing teams shall:

  1. be available and have sober skippers on or about the day of the race
  2. be local or not local to the San Francisco bay area
  3. be somewhat familiar with the USCG regs
  4. be able to identify a sailboat when given a reasonable opportunity

Race committee

Committee composition

The official race committee shall consist of those nominated by the ad hoc newsgroup members. All nomination decisions are final until the day of the race. On race day, everyone in attendance is welcome to participate as a member of the committee.

Strawman nomination

I hereby nominate the following individuals as indicated on the Extended Putz list previously reported on the newsgroup. If I didn't include you here, it is deliberate but fixable by quarreling on the newgroup.

I had recused myself from the committee, but now I've de-recused myself. I said that I was willing to be nominated. If nominated, I would serve. If I served, then I would do the coordination work in as slipshod fashion as possible.

Mike Fulmar previously suggested that there could be a "staggered start with the slowest boats getting a head start, the first boat back across the line would be the winner, and he could even provide trophies for the winning crew!"

If you are flying, driving, or walking out here, I'm sure we can figure out a place for you to rent a boat for the day or hitch a ride on a boat that's already here. The minimum requirement is sobriety when filling out the rental form. There may be other requirements expressed or implied (or not).

Grand and Pompus Poobah and Dishonorable Second

The honorary Grand and Pompus Poobah shall be Crapton Neal Warren since he originated the Putz designation. If he is unable or unwilling to attend (and we can certainly see why), he will remain the Grand and Pompus Poobah but be excluded from the race activities (which makes sense, since he won't be there). The Dishonorable Second will be nominated by the group, and upon acceptance, must attend the race. This is the minimum requirement for nomination for Dishonorable Second. The Second can be male, female, or none of the above. The DS will have all obligations and responsiblities that go with the title.

Recommendations

Here is a list of recommendations from some of the committee members:

Race, pre-race, and post-race logistics

  1. early in the summer of 2006, preferably on a weekend
  2. transportation is up to the individual participants
  3. a no-host bar location will be identified and reserved
  4. a live (or nearly live) boat cam will record the event (as best as possible) for those unable to attend
  5. the winning boat and the most whiney boat shall receive one tee-shirt upon which will be emblazened an appropriate image to be determined by the newsgroup. Here is a possible design. Copyright is held by Flying Tadpole.
  6. another tee-shirt will be awarded to the vessel in attendance from the most distant port, as well as one that sailed the longest distance either getting to the race or during the race.

Basic principles

  1. Race signals - no race signals will be recognized.

  2. Sportsmanship - all participants are expected to be loud and abusive. However, no physical violence or generally considered unsafe practices (such as men peeing off the transom) shall be tolerated.
  3. Protests - there shall be no protests available other than statements made after the fact of the race. These protests shall be limited to the newsgroup.

Fundamental rules

  1. Safety
    1. A boat or competitor shall give all possible help to any person or vessel in danger. However, no boarding without permission will be tolerated.
    2. A boat shall carry adequate life-saving equipment for all persons (and/or animals) on board, as provided by federal, state, and local regulations. Birds are not required to wear PFDs.
  2. Fair sailing
    1. Pretty much anything goes, short of actually causing damage.
    2. Practices considered unfair but that do not cause damage will be dealt with accordingly at the bar or on the newsgroup.
    3. Except when permitted, a boat shall compete by using only the wind and water to increase maintain or decrease her speed. Her crew may adjust the trim of sails and hull, and perform other acts of seamanship. The crew may move their bodies to propel the boat, but this action may only be in conjunction with the human sex act or experiments in animal husbandry. Thus, pumping, rocking, and ooching are allowed in some circumstances. Sculling is not allowed unless it is somehow coordinated as previously indicated. Tacks or gybes unrelated to changes in the wind or for tactical considerations are okey dokie.
    4. All boats shall refrain from the use of inboard or outboard engines during the race. If an engine is used during the race, the offending skipper shall buy at least one round of beer for all race participants upon the conclusion of the race.
    5. All boats that run aground and can't free themselves within one hour forfeit the race. As a consolation, they will have beer bought for them for the remainder of the day (as practicable) or at the bar should they be in attendance.
      1. If an aground boat is discovered during race participation, the discovering boat shall immediately give aid and assistance, including but not limited to helping the aground boat resume racing, assisting with crew recovery and safety, and delivery of appropriate quantities of alcohol.
      2. The assisting boat shall be given a one-hour handicap.
      3. There is no limit to the number of assisting boats, except as they may not block regular bay traffic while delivering beverages.
  3. Acceptance of the rules - All competitors and boat owners agree:
    1. to be governed by the rules
    2. to accept the penalties or other actions to be imposed without appeal except to the body of the newsgroup
    3. not to resort to gun play, court action (unless it takes place in Florida), or other tribunal affairs
  4. Decision to race
    1. A boat is solely responsible for deciding whether or not to start or to continue racing. Browbeating is acceptable.
    2. Drugs
      1. All drugs are hereby banned, including alcohol, except by general consensus of the newsgroup.
      2. If you decide to use drugs, please do not inform the race committee.
    3. Rules of the road
      1. All generally accepted rights of way and general limitations as described on the ISAF website apply.
      2. All marks and obstruction rules shall follow the generally accepted definitions as described on the ISAF website.
  5. Other rules
    1. There are no specific penalties for mis-starts, other then general castigation by the newsgroup. For example, no penalties would be expected if you jump the gun within a few boat lengths of another boat. If you start the day before, you will not be invited to the bar.
    2. All other rules shall follow the generally accepted definitions as described on the ISAF website.
  6. Other considerations
    1. In the interest of brevity, please refer to the ISAF website for all general race considerations.